The [your brand here] Olympics

After an absolutely brutal news cycle for LA28 — there's really nothing like having your chairman compared to pool-cleaning equipment — our megaevent overlords had to quickly drum up some feel-good content. No press release went out about that White House task force — hmm, I wonder why? — but this one was swiftly dispatched yesterday: LA28 has gotten permission from the IOC to sell naming rights for venues, which apparently has never been done before in Olympics history. And let me first say that, unlike much of what has been proposed by LA28 recently — I actually don't think this is the worst idea.

If you've followed my coverage of venue plan announcements, you know that Olympic venues are delivered devoid of any advertising or branding; LA28 also has to use what are called "clean" names, resulting in some truly tortured language during these announcements: "The Stadium in Carson," "The 1932 Pool in Exposition Park." The rules seem somewhat arbitrary to me. Dodger Stadium was always allowed to be referred to as Dodger Stadium, even though a professional sports team is technically a brand? But as part of this particular deal, it's exempt anyway — for Dodger Stadium, the Coliseum, and the Rose Bowl, the naming rights are not for sale. For other venues that already have naming rights attached— Crypto.com Arena, Intuit Dome — these won't be renamed; they'll either strike a deal with LA28 to use the existing brand name or stay anonymous. The rest? Up for grabs, to the highest bidder.

The two "announcements" LA28 made yesterday are also not really news as both brands were already committed to sponsorships. Comcast is an LA28 founding partner and struck a deal with the IOC in March for a "new groundbreaking partnership for the new digital era" through 2036. And when LA28 announced the squash venue in April, it was already referred to by its actual name, "the Universal Studios Lot." The official name will now be the Comcast Squash Center at Universal Studios. And as soon as Honda was added as an LA28 sponsor in June, it was inevitable that the brand name would be kept in place at Anaheim's Honda Center, where indoor volleyball will be played. The Peacock Theater, named for another Comcast brand, is also already listed by its real name on the LA28 venue list, so that's at least three venues so far.

In actuality, what LA28 is doing is throwing up a signal that the naming-rights division is open for business. And while this is a very typical practice for U.S. sports venues and events, the change is a big deal for the Olympics. The IOC explained the policy shift this way:

“It is a reality that many venues in LA and in the U.S. already have commercial naming rights and have become commonly recognized as such by the general public. Therefore, following discussions, the IOC is supporting the LA28 initiative that takes into account market realities of venue naming and generates critical revenue to stage the Games.”

In other words, if you were an organizing committee that might be very worried about money three years out, HYPOTHETICALLY OF COURSE, this is kind of a surefire way to siphon in cash. How much will the naming rights go for? Like the rest of LA28's murky math, we have absolutely no idea. But I hope it's enough to cover the cost of picking up the city's trash in the summer of 2028!

Truly, though, this is fine — especially if it helps prevent the overages that the city could be stuck paying for in the long run. I have actually heard several LA officials say they are also open to pursuing naming rights for the city's parks and public spaces over the next three years to bring in much-needed revenue. I think it's extremely smart to sell the naming rights for the 19 temporary venues which will only exist during the summer of 2028 anyway. Actually my first thought was to go bigger: why not also sell naming rights for the fan festivals and viewing parties?

But the question is, after all we've witnessed over the last few months, do we really trust LA28 — which recently named Uber as a sponsor of a supposedly car-free games, come on! — to make the right decision when it comes to selling naming rights to brands that reflect our values? What if a local fossil fuel company wants to shell out the big bucks for an LA-owned property? Do we get final approval over renaming the city's convention center the Chevron Convention Center for the summer?

And after what we witnessed last week, how many brands will see the association with LA28 as a way to get an in with the Trump administration? This seemed to be what motivated Archer, the "air taxi" startup, to join as an LA28 partner back in May. Can't wait for all the White House faves to line up. Holding diving in the Palantir Pool will really give the sport a whole new meaning.

The deal gives priority to the IOC's top-tier global sponsors — these are literally known as TOP, as in, The Olympic Partner, sponsors — to get in the game first. Expect to see quite a few of these heavy-hitter brands ponying up for naming rights to boost their spends. And there's one big red flag on that roster: Airbnb, which is actively campaigning to decimate the city's short-term rental ordinance ahead of upcoming megaevents. You might have seen posters around town for the "Save Our Services" campaign, which, as I noted, very clearly seeks to loosen existing rental restrictions in a city that can't enforce its rules right now. The Los Angeles Times confirmed that Airbnb is not-so-secretly bankrolling the campaign (and also, interestingly, has neglected to register the campaign with the city's ethics commission). It's all part of Airbnb's strategy to add tens of thousands of new hosts ahead of the Olympics, Paralympics, and World Cup. And, by the way, surprise! Airbnb is now also a global sponsor of FIFA.

Picking a single property to buy out almost feels too small for Airbnb's aspirations. What's to stop LA28 from selling the naming rights of the whole shebang? I can see it now: the Games of the XXXIV Olympiad BROUGHT TO YOU BY AIRBNB. 🔥

Update: When I shared this story on social media, I asked Torched readers to guess which brands would get naming rights to LA's Olympic venues, wrong answers only. And boy did you deliver.